lgsunshine

Traveling for work, I hit the hotel gym.  My goal was to run 1.5 miles in about 14 minutes.  Wee!  I ran it in a little over 13 and half minutes.  Something like 13 minutes and 33 seconds.  I feel that’s close to what I was running in high school. 

I ran on a treadmill – so I don’t know how close I could approximate that on a track. 

Even though it wasn’t set as a goal – it feels like I hit a goal.  I did 10 full body push ups with alternating rows (10 lbs).    yay!

Today at the gym, I got two compliments on my running.  That makes mee smile. 

Yesterday in yoga we did backbends.  My teacher warns us that backbends bring up emotions.  I’m already in a kind of wacky space.  Plenty of emotions did come up. 

We did Dwi Pada Viparita Dandasana. 

It wasn’t pretty.  But I got into the pose.  Mostly, I couldn’t figure out how to get my arms in the right place.  And I got closer to the pose than I have ever gotten before.  I continue to marvel at how tight my hips are. 

I enjoy Larry McMurtry stories. 

Sometimes his plots wonder.  But his characters keep me in engaged. 
Quote from The Late Child:

Watching them, Harmony felt too shaken to take a step.  Eddie and Sheba were young; but she herself had become old.  Even if she wasn’t particularly old if you just counted years, the fact was years were no way to count.  Happenings were the way to count, the big happening that separated her from youth or even middle age was the death of her daughter, Pepper.  That death made her realize that life, once you got around to producing children, was no longer about being pretty or having boyfriends or making money – it was about protecting children; getting them raised to the point where they could try life as adults.  It didn’t have to be just children that come out of your body, either.  It could be anyone young who needed something you had to give.  Some grown men were children; some grown women, too.  Harmony knew that she had spent a good part of her life, taking care of just such men.  But now that she felt old she didn’t think she wanted to spend much more of her energy protecting men who had had a good chance to grow up, but had blown it.  If she never had another boyfriend – something she had been worrying about, on the plane – it might be a little dull in some areas, like sexual areas, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. 
            What would be the end of the world would be to let some little girl like Sheba get in the car with a bad man who would make a U-turn across the street and kill her right there in front of the pay phones, where pimps and crack dealers were making their calls. 

It might cross the line between novel and preachy.  But Harmony’s grief is real.  She reads as completely submerged in grief with occasional observations about the world around her. 

I can’t diet. I tried a weight loss diet for two weeks, limiting my comfort food – pasta and potatoes. It might have just been  really bad timing. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells and the added challenge of dieting may have been too much for me to handle. If I had to guess, I must look nervous and overwhelmed. Blah – no more to that. 

I have spoken to my yoga teacher about becoming a yoga teacher. I’ve decided to start the program. I have no idea what I’m getting into. If I did, I probably would not do it. But I trust my yoga teacher and the other students. And so, I will begin the training. 

I'm excited.  It feels like small but important changes. 

When I’m anxious, it’s difficult to eat.  I get the feeling that I’m going to throw up.  So I don’t eat, which makes my anxiety worse.  It places this pressure on my chest.  I think the two are related.  Once I stop eating, I'm less likely to work out or do yoga, making the whole situation worse. 

What I don’t understand is why.  There are certain things I believe the body knows before the mind registers and processes it.  With anxiety, the body follows the lead of the mind for bad results. 

I recently read Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto.  While I was reading it, certain pieces of writing jumped out at me. 

“Life can be so hard,” I said, moved. 

“Yes.  But if a person hasn’t ever experienced true despair she grows old never knowing how to evaluate where she is in life; never understanding what joy really is.  I’m grateful for it.” 

Later in the book:

I was not afraid of burns or scars; I didn’t suffer from sleepless nights.  Every day I thrilled with pleasure at the challenges tomorrow would bring.  Memorizing the recipe, I would make carrot cakes that included a bit of my soul.  At the supermarket I would stare at bright red tomato, loving it for dear life.  Having known such joy, there was no gong back. 

In yoga class, my teacher joked: tapas aren’t Spanish appetizers.  Instead think spiritual heat undertaken to achieve a goal. 

Some challenges make sense to me.  Other challenges feel like distractions.  My goal is to figure out which challenges help achieve something.  The other challenges I hope to correctly identify and let go. 

How do friends work on lj? 

I realize that I’ve friended some people that I don’t know in real life.  But I ask before adding the person.  Let them know what I’m doing. 

Every once and a while I will look at my friends page and realize someone has added me.  Why?  I realize one could bookmark the page and visit it randomly without friending me – but seriously, I must have one of the dullest lj pages going. 

And then, I can read their friends only submissions – but they can’t read mine, unless I friend them back? 

My hairdresser noticed a cluster of grey hairs.  She thins my hair – because it’s way too thick.  Anyway, during the thinning part, she took the time to first cut the grey ones out and then proceeded with a general thinning.  I think she's more worried about me going grey than I am.   

My friend’s kid found a magic wand.  He was practicing magical chants.  For one, he told this woman: I’m now going to make you a beautiful woman.  Slightly embarrassed, his mom asked: You've never talked about beautiful women.  What does a beautiful woman look like? 

He replied: Zalea.  My dog was his definition of a beautiful woman. 

I was expecting a shoot them up, non-stop (non-thinking) action movie.  While the movie has action, it has some comedic and tragic moments. Thumbs up.

Walter Benjamin at the Dairy Queen

Thursday night I checked out the Polish dancing.  The website said 6:30 to 8:30.  When I got there, they were in the middle of a meeting and asked that I sit to the side.  Finally at 7 the beginner dancers started.  It didn’t feel very beginner.  I wore my sneakers, which actually made dancing pretty awkward.  I have a lighter pair of sneakers that I will wear next time.  The other dancers all wear ballet or dance shoes.  Most of the moves felt pretty tricky.  It’s humbling when simple dance moves seem super confusing.  I really enjoyed the warm up section.  The practice actually went to 10.  But I left at 10 to 10.  I enjoyed myself, but... once I got home I had a difficult time relaxing to sleep.  I’m going to go again next Thursday.  I really wish it was from 6:30 to 8:30, not 10 something.   

Today – I ran-walked 2.6 miles.  The cold kept me running to stay warm.  The most difficult part was consistent breathing.  My nose was like a snot faucet.  Blech!  I’m pretty proud considering all the excuses I could have listed, the biggest being that it’s 21F.