wonder

books

2009-12-04T15:02:17Z

I'm currently reading The Book Thief. I don't get it. To me books are often plot driven or character driven. This book wants to be symbolically driven, which doesn't appeal to me. Death is the narrator. And much like I remember my 7th grade thinking - that's deep enough. If you are going to personify Death, give him or her a personality. Otherwise, don't personify death.

I think the other problem is the skimming. By that I mean - good books show you the story. They bring you in and you feel like you are there. This book skims events. You are told details, but they don't cross into showing you the characters, time or place. I feel like I'm being told about the Nazi book burnings. I don't feel I'm there. As a person who dabbles in writing, I know this is my own weakness. It's difficult to create a landscape that the reader feels. You want details, but not too many. They should also not be cliches.

It's for book club. And it came highly recommended.

I'd rather get back to my regular scheduled reading - even my nonfiction work reading.

My goal was 27 books for 2009.
So far I've read 28.

military readiness

2009-12-02T22:07:18Z

this is from work - but I want to share it

I'm sort of like wow!
75% of kids 17 to 24 can not join the military
2 out of 10 kids are able to join the Army without a waiver ---
....even with a high school diploma 30% of recruits fail the proficiency test.

barriers:
1) poor education
2) criminal records
3) physically unfit

it's interesting to me that the recommendation is to go back to quality Early Childhood Education

that's a long term pay off strategy
for the actual facts: http://www.missionreadiness.org/

face palm

2009-12-02T00:59:41Z

I hid my credit card from myself.
And I just pledged to Russ Feingold's campaign.
I should leave a note in my wallet: credit card is purposely missing. Check known hiding spots.

my random goals:

2009-10-06T22:27:24Z

Books – With 23 books read so far this year, I will pass my goal of 27 books.

I’m thinking about buying the Kindle. My barrier is the price. It seems convenient and yet pricey. Perhaps the feeling will pass. I like the idea of having a large selection of books to choose from. Particularly for books I read for work and have little attachment towards. Maybe I should ask if work would let me purchase one. I would rather not. I like my stuff to be my stuff and I know that I would include personal books.

Exercise – for the last year, I worked with a trainer. I’ve decided to be responsible for planning and doing my own work out plans. Again, price was the motivating decision maker. I was on vacation last week and at a conference this week. Before vacation, I began to transition to my own workout plans. They were a mish mash of activities. Sometimes I realized I had too many squat variations and would mix things up on the fly. I want to get more thoughtful in my goals and plans to reach them. I’ve decided to give myself some monthly benchmarks. Nothing crazy.

Goals for October:

Running – 6 miles (1.5 so far)

Push Ups – 235 (52 so far)

They are low numbers. I should have no problem hitting them.

In addition, I plan on 2 work outs, 3 yoga sessions and a run per week.
Basically, I hope to keep the momentum going without reporting to a trainer.

Maybe that’s too much yoga – I still have other things that I want to do.
I have the hope for something like home cooked meals done with some thought and not as rushed as most of my cooking.

Wealthcare

2009-09-17T18:28:50Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1I9xsV-g9Y

Grr - I don't know how to adequately post this.

It's Billionares for Wealthcare.

pants on fire

2009-09-11T20:34:08Z

I actually love the few clips of the British Parliament that I get to see. I love their spirited (and sometimes inappropriate) debates. I do sometimes feel we are way too polite.
And yet, I am torn. I think much political conversation is not conversation at all but theatrics. I’m particularly thinking of talk radio and the 24/7 news channels. For some reason, these examples turn me off to paying attention. It may be their saturation. I also sense that it's more about appealing to a market than a passion for the case they are making.

So when The Gentlemen From South Carolina called the President a liar, I disagree with the message, but I’m not appalled by his willingness to speak up inappropriately.

toes

2009-09-04T17:39:47Z

Yesterday I was strumming my toes. My friend jumped back. I laughed. It is pretty interesting to watch. I don’t have piano playing control. Sometimes the toes get feisty and do their own thing, which is what caused my friend to jump back in surprise. But I consider it a pretty good reflection of their strength.

My grandma has hammer toes. I’m not quite sure that begins to describe it. When I google hammer toes, the pictures do not come close to describing what my grandma’s toes look like. The toes next to the big toe cross over each other towards the big toe. Just standing, I’m afraid she’s going to fall over. Watching her go up and down stairs is absolutely terrifying.

Lately, I’ve read about the benefits of running barefoot. I haven’t tried it. But I do have some very light shoes that I like to run in. Most people cringe and state – you can’t be getting enough support.

Just questioning the message from the shoe manufacturers.

jeans

2009-08-22T16:22:34Z

I’m going through my stuff – getting rid of stuff I don’t use or don’t want anymore.
I have two pairs of jeans – same brand, Banana Republic.
One I bought used and one new.

Size 8 – fits
Size 10 – can’t get them over my hips

Not really sure what to make of that….
(what if after the mood key you could hit detect and it would guess your mood - confusion?)

:-)

2009-08-20T15:12:06Z

20 miles in 20 minutes

books

2009-08-07T14:50:31Z

Books read in 2008 -
Graphic Novels: 3
Total Books (including graphic novels): 25
Books I started, but didn’t finish: 2

Books so far in 2009 -
Graphic Novels: 0
Total Books: 16
Currently reading: 7
Books I started, but didn’t finish: 1
Goal: 27

edit: if I want to read more, I have to be on the look out for books. Just thinking about possible books helps me pick what I want to read next.

two roads

2009-08-06T18:34:03Z

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Woody Allen

white collar crime

2009-08-02T02:58:32Z

I hope he's wrong. But I don't think there's enough oversight for some of the stimulus dollars.

trust & the economy

2009-07-19T16:00:51Z

Trust : The Frontal Cortex

Posted using ShareThis

I think trust plays a tremendous role in what I do every day. And I do agree with the article that the current situation is a break down of trust. However the article makes it feel that trust abstractly breaks down, when I feel there have been very good reasons for trust to break down in the economic sector. I just finished: Fooling Some of the People All of the Time, a book on Allied. It's a long complicated story of fraud. We get other glimpses into large scale ongoing fraud when the media covers Enron, Worldcom, and Bernard Madoff. I really am surprised that the trust melt down didn't happen sooner. And since it didn't, I have to say it plays a role - I'm not sure how big a role it plays in where we are today.

Also - I find it amusing how this blog simplifies things. I'm not sure what exactly this piece of information is supposed to provide me.

Heckman Equation

2009-07-13T17:02:23Z

more exciting exercising stuff

2009-07-11T02:43:52Z

Traveling for work, I hit the hotel gym. My goal was to run 1.5 miles in about 14 minutes. Wee! I ran it in a little over 13 and half minutes. Something like 13 minutes and 33 seconds. I feel that’s close to what I was running in high school.

I ran on a treadmill – so I don’t know how close I could approximate that on a track.

At times, I found it motivating to record the amount of time I spent exercising. I let that go. Without tracking something, I feel that I'm not sure what kind of gains I'm making. However, time is not a completely useful measure. If I track time, I tend not to really push myself in effort. I go for slow and steady.
I did my regular squat sets w/ 40 lbs. Plus 2 squats w/ 80 lbs - just to see if I could do it.
In yoga, my teacher said: you have this pose. Let your old body go. This is your pose now. She came over, did a small adjustment and I had the pose. I'm at this really good floor right now. I have a really good starting point to do what I want to do.

Soft goals -
Yoga - I want to be smarter about it. I want to better understand what I'm doing.
Cardio - I want to run 4 miles a week. If I do 2 at the gym, I need to schedule another 2 outside the gym. On the treadmill, I can comfortably run a mile in 12 minutes. I need to time myself outside and make a goal from there.

Weights - I started working w/ weights to make yoga easier. I have definitely achieved that goal. 10 push ups? The 4 exercise work out - push, pull, abs and squats. I like the idea of mastering a simple work out & doing it w/ regularity.

celebrate

2009-06-18T14:57:18Z

Even though it wasn’t set as a goal – it feels like I hit a goal. I did 10 full body push ups with alternating rows (10 lbs). yay!

run laura run

2009-06-04T15:05:14Z

Today at the gym, I got two compliments on my running. That makes mee smile.

backbends

2009-05-19T14:43:52Z

Yesterday in yoga we did backbends. My teacher warns us that backbends bring up emotions. I’m already in a kind of wacky space. Plenty of emotions did come up.

We did Dwi Pada Viparita Dandasana.

It wasn’t pretty. But I got into the pose. Mostly, I couldn’t figure out how to get my arms in the right place. And I got closer to the pose than I have ever gotten before. I continue to marvel at how tight my hips are.

lgsunshine @ 2009-05-13T21:13:00

2009-05-14T02:14:17Z

lightening! right outside my window.
hit the electric wires - sparks!

the late child

2009-05-07T03:12:42Z

I enjoy Larry McMurtry stories.

Sometimes his plots wonder. But his characters keep me in engaged.
Quote from The Late Child:

Watching them, Harmony felt too shaken to take a step. Eddie and Sheba were young; but she herself had become old. Even if she wasn’t particularly old if you just counted years, the fact was years were no way to count. Happenings were the way to count, the big happening that separated her from youth or even middle age was the death of her daughter, Pepper. That death made her realize that life, once you got around to producing children, was no longer about being pretty or having boyfriends or making money – it was about protecting children; getting them raised to the point where they could try life as adults. It didn’t have to be just children that come out of your body, either. It could be anyone young who needed something you had to give. Some grown men were children; some grown women, too. Harmony knew that she had spent a good part of her life, taking care of just such men. But now that she felt old she didn’t think she wanted to spend much more of her energy protecting men who had had a good chance to grow up, but had blown it. If she never had another boyfriend – something she had been worrying about, on the plane – it might be a little dull in some areas, like sexual areas, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
What would be the end of the world would be to let some little girl like Sheba get in the car with a bad man who would make a U-turn across the street and kill her right there in front of the pay phones, where pimps and crack dealers were making their calls.

It might cross the line between novel and preachy. But Harmony’s grief is real. She reads as completely submerged in grief with occasional observations about the world around her.

summary of the day

2009-04-10T04:00:50Z

a few times today I felt that I had a really good epiphany.
here at the end of the day -

- i live in a world that seems fractured. people are disconnected.
- i miss A. I wish that I had said what I was feeling the last time I saw him. The words got stuck inside of me.
- when i increase my exercise beyond the 5 hour per week that I currently do, I have to really become disciplined about my eating. I've been using that (and the weather) as an excuse not to do more.
- I need a vacation. I'm not sure where or what I want to do.
- my feelings - good and bad - are really not unique. No matter how unique I think they might be; they are basically feelings. and somewhere, other people have experienced them.

coffee

2009-04-06T00:57:29Z

I gave up coffee for two days.

The first day I felt like I never woke up.
The second day was easier.

lgsunshine @ 2009-03-17T10:37:00

2009-03-17T15:39:49Z

I can’t diet. I tried a weight loss diet for two weeks, limiting my comfort food – pasta and potatoes. It might have just been really bad timing. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells and the added challenge of dieting may have been too much for me to handle. If I had to guess, I must look nervous and overwhelmed. Blah – no more to that.

I have spoken to my yoga teacher about becoming a yoga teacher. I’ve decided to start the program. I have no idea what I’m getting into. If I did, I probably would not do it. But I trust my yoga teacher and the other students. And so, I will begin the training.

I'm excited. It feels like small but important changes.

anxiety and eating

2009-03-06T05:03:59Z

When I’m anxious, it’s difficult to eat. I get the feeling that I’m going to throw up. So I don’t eat, which makes my anxiety worse. It places this pressure on my chest. I think the two are related. Once I stop eating, I'm less likely to work out or do yoga, making the whole situation worse.

What I don’t understand is why. There are certain things I believe the body knows before the mind registers and processes it. With anxiety, the body follows the lead of the mind for bad results.

tapas, tapasya

2009-02-18T05:29:01Z

I recently read Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto. While I was reading it, certain pieces of writing jumped out at me.

“Life can be so hard,” I said, moved.

“Yes. But if a person hasn’t ever experienced true despair she grows old never knowing how to evaluate where she is in life; never understanding what joy really is. I’m grateful for it.”

Later in the book:

I was not afraid of burns or scars; I didn’t suffer from sleepless nights. Every day I thrilled with pleasure at the challenges tomorrow would bring. Memorizing the recipe, I would make carrot cakes that included a bit of my soul. At the supermarket I would stare at bright red tomato, loving it for dear life. Having known such joy, there was no gong back.

In yoga class, my teacher joked: tapas aren’t Spanish appetizers. Instead think spiritual heat undertaken to achieve a goal.

Some challenges make sense to me. Other challenges feel like distractions. My goal is to figure out which challenges help achieve something. The other challenges I hope to correctly identify and let go.